Why We Need Another Nip-Slip: A History and Reflections on the Super Bowl Halftime Show

Let me first start of by saying, Katy Perry, if you read this it's nothing personal and I hope this doesn't ruin my chances with you, I just like music a lot and want people to actually listen. P.S. I think I'm good kisser, but there's only one way for you to find out. ;)

Right. Moving on.

(visual courtesy of CNN)

When did the Super Bowl halftime show become more about the visuals and less about the music?  Forgive me in advance, because I'm feeling super cynical about this one, but no one seems to be addressing that LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE MUSIC.

Which sharks danced best? Sure. Was there a lot of pyro and fireworks? Ugh, see above. (FIREWORKS IN A DOME THAT NO ONE INSIDE COULD REALLY SEE). Was there a metallic hellcat sent to devour the souls of non-Pepsi drinkers? Check. But no one is talking about the songs, the voice, the instruments (probably because they aren't plugged in), nothing but the flash and hoop-la.

As I looked into Super Bowl halftime performers of the past, I found that until 1991, pop had no place. Numerous marching bands, some world organizations, the occasional oddity or standards singer, but no rock stars. I'm not even sure if the halftime show was televised. But then in '91, New Kids On the Block took the stage with some Disney characters and changed the game. Two years later, it would be the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson. 

After a string of some weird lineups in the rest of the '90s (wasn't everything just kind of weird in the '90s?), the 2000s were off to a great start before the infamous nip-slip. Classic artists like Phil Collins, Tina Turner, Aerosmith, and Sting, teamed up with fresh names like Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, *NSYNC, Shania Twain, and No Doubt. 

I actually missed the infamous Janet Jackson nip-slip of 2004, as I didn't really care about the Patriots or the Panthers and since I was ten, I really did care about playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.  But ESPN did a really cool piece on Nipplegate's 10 year anniversary last year. Basically, PEOPLE FREAKED OUT.

In response, the upcoming years were filled with great music. Paul McCartney, the same man once hated by so many conservative parents, was ironically the go-to safe move for the year following a major scandal. The coming years were as followed, Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen, and ultimately the Who.

Since then, nothing but pop.  The Black Eyed Peas were the worst of the bunch, but I enjoyed Beyoncé, Bruno Mars, and I even enjoyed Katy Perry last night.  However, just as the halftime show has evolved from just a college band marching around to a multi-million dollar event, at this rate the next step is cutting out the music all together.

Giant metal lions vs. Christians, maybe?